Extremely tense – regaining control in high tension

Are you looking for effective ways to deal with high levels of stress? It's completely normal to feel stress in our fast-paced everyday lives, but it's important that we learn to deal with it. In this guide, you'll discover science-based methods and DBT skills that will help you regulate your emotions and improve your quality of life.

Understanding the tension scale (0-100):

The Tension Scale is a useful tool to assess your current stress level. A 0 on the y-axis means complete relaxation, while 100 represents extreme panic or your personal maximum level of tension. I'll walk you through the different signs and symptoms associated with each level so you can better understand where you are and when it's time to intervene.

The different tension areas

There are three main ranges of tension: low (0-30), medium (30-70) and high (over 70). In the low range (0-30) you might be at home, relaxing and reading a book, your thoughts are slow and orderly. In the medium range (30-70) you might be out and about, perhaps commuting to work or shopping, where you need more concentration and your thoughts are faster.

70 is the magic limit. We differentiate between them as follows: Under 70, you are able to act and are still cognitively able to control the situation. Over 70, you are basically in survival mode and you will no longer be able to help yourself with your thoughts. You no longer feel in control and feel at the mercy of your feelings. This can manifest itself, for example, in you having a panic attack or suddenly noticing much less, like you are standing next to yourself or no longer feeling yourself. These are all just examples to help you to classify things. The best thing to do is to observe yourself for a few days and pause every now and then to classify your current tension and gain more security here.

Why is this important?

There are different skills for the high tension range and the medium tension range. While, for example, doing sports or adopting new behaviors in social situations can be very helpful in the medium tension range, this may not help you if you are in a high tension state and are no longer able to act. It is therefore very important that you practice classifying your mental and physical signals on this scale.

Techniques for reducing high tension

Here I will introduce you to a series of DBT skills and stress management techniques that are specifically designed to reduce high levels of tension, i.e. everything above 70. The key to the so-called skills for regulating high levels of tension are strong external stimuli that appeal to your senses in order to actively manage your tension and bring it into a manageable range. Here are a few examples of such skills:

• Eating something unpleasant, such as chili peppers or a candy that you don't like at all

• Wall-standing exercise: Squat against a free wall for 2 minutes and wait. You will notice your thighs burning from the exertion and your heart beating faster. Vary the distance of your feet from the wall and the depth of your squat if necessary. The exercise should feel uncomfortable. If you have back problems, for example, it may not be suitable for you.

• 5-4-3-2-1: Concentrate on 5 things you see, hear and feel. List them. Then move on to 4 things you see, hear and feel.... Give yourself and the exercise enough time to get to 1.

• Name all red/round/square things in the room

• Tapping exercise: Tap your body thoroughly for 2 minutes to provide external tactile stimulation.

• 2 minutes of running up and down stairs

• Putting a Stone in Your Shoe

• An ice-cold shower

• Put your hand in the freezer

• …

If you search for “DBT skills” on the internet, you will quickly find what you are looking for, as there are now over 300 skills! So you have a free choice and are welcome to be creative yourself!

It is important to note:

• Have skills that you can always have with you: If you define a skill as doing sports, having to drive somewhere for an hour or being dependent on a friend to come with you, then the skill is not suitable for high-stress situations. Here you need skills that are immediately available and that you can always have with you. Ideally, they can also be integrated discreetly into your everyday life so that you can use them without prying eyes.

• A skill should be unpleasant: In order to get you back to the here and now from a state of high tension, strong stimuli are often necessary. With unpleasant skills, which should not be harmful or hurtful (!), you can focus better on the here and now.

• One skill rarely comes alone. The best results are achieved by people who build a so-called skill chain: A skill chain is a series of 3-4 skills, each of which takes at least 2 minutes. You should always have this chain to hand when you need it and be able to use it without thinking. It can take a while until you find your skills. Perhaps some of your skills will wear out over time. Always try to complete your skill chain. Strong feelings come and go in waves and if your chain lasts 8-10 minutes, that can ideally make your life easier.

High levels of anxiety are challenging, but with the right techniques and a little practice, you can learn to manage it. This guide offers you a first step towards a calmer and more controlled life. If you notice that you are having problems with high levels of anxiety, it is also a good idea to ask your GP or go to a psychotherapist's office. High levels of anxiety can be a sign of an underlying mental illness and should be treated if necessary.