Living with ADHD: How do I learn to listen better to others and not interrupt them?

For many people with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD), it can be challenging to listen attentively in conversations without feeling the need to interrupt or take over the conversation. This impulse often does not arise from a lack of interest, but because ADHD makes attention management and impulse control difficult. But with the right techniques, it is possible to overcome these challenges. Here you will find helpful strategies to listen better and make conversations more relaxed.

1. Practice self-awareness and mindfulness

Self-awareness is an important first step to really listening in conversations. For people with ADHD, this means paying close attention to your own behavior patterns, especially when you notice that you are getting distracted or feel the need to interrupt someone. Mindfulness exercises can help reduce impulsivity and focus on the here and now. Try to focus entirely on the words and facial expressions of the person you are talking to and just observe your own reactions without taking direct action.

2. Channel the urge to interrupt

A helpful technique for ADHD is to interrupt and channel the need to talk. If you come up with thoughts during the conversation that you really want to share, write them down. Writing them down allows you to capture your thoughts without disrupting the conversation. This method can be particularly helpful if you have a lot of associations and ideas that you would like to share.

3. Active listening by repeating what you have heard

"Active listening" is a technique that allows you to concentrate more on the conversation. By repeating key statements or the last sentence of the person you are talking to, you create a pause and prevent your mind from wandering. This technique can be very useful in everyday life to fully concentrate on what is being said and unconsciously increase your attention.

For example, you could say: “You said that…” or “So that means…”. This technique not only helps you avoid misunderstandings, but also gives you the opportunity to actively process what you have heard.

4. Listen better with ADHD through conscious “waiting times”

People with ADHD often tend to formulate their answers before the other person has finished speaking. Build in a conscious "waiting time" by, for example, counting to three before you answer. This short pause gives you the opportunity to process what you have heard and helps suppress the impulse to react immediately. This makes listening much more relaxed and mindful.

5. Use breathing as an anchor

In emotional or heated conversations, it can be particularly difficult to control your own impulses. Breathing can help as an "anchor" to calm yourself down and stay in the moment. Before speaking, consciously take a deep breath to slow down your reaction. This rather simple breathing technique can help to calm the nervous system and gently direct your attention back to the conversation when trying to listen better with ADHD.

6. Patience and practice for long-term improvement

Learning to listen to others is a process. Change takes time, especially with ADHD. It's absolutely OK if not every conversation goes perfectly and you catch yourself interrupting occasionally. The more you practice, the better you will become at giving others space and improving the quality of conversation.

Use everyday conversations as an opportunity to practice and view every small step forward as a valuable step towards improvement.

The ability to listen well is essential for relationships - in both private and professional contexts. People with ADHD can increase their attention and improve the quality of conversation through active listening, impulse control and conscious breathing. I am happy to provide you with additional support for ADHD, whether through coaching or mindfulness training.

Every step forward counts and helps to shape relationships positively.